I Don't Know How Not To
by Bellatrix's Weightless Tears
Summary: Miranda receives an unexpected visitor two weeks after Paris on her birthday.


It was her first birthday without Stephen.

She'd received quite a few gifts that have walked the wrapping paper road of shame from receiving a paper shredder and tax software program to a nose hair trimmer he thought was a beauty product to Greg's equally terrible, one padded bra, and a set of hangers but the one gift that was his worst, he had wrapped up a gift from their twins who at the time were one, and the tag said "To Mommy …"

It was so sweet. Her first from their babies, Miranda was so excited to open it and thought it would be a beautiful gift inside.

Greg gave her stretch mark cream.

Cassidy and Caroline had from their father's allowances, each presented her with a Tiffany 1837 bags for her, and since Cassi was into baking, Miranda had her take lessons with Mah Ze Dahr, she made a cake for her, and Car was into working with clay she made for her trinket box for treasures along with a spirited reading of Japanese poetry and they had to cancel her birthday celebration because of the weather.

Miranda loved staying home with them for any reason.

There wasn't any galas or Runway duties for once this weekend.

Miranda noticed it, the text on her Bobbseys' phones had went to hers. Usually she glanced at them, most were the usual messages from classmates and friends in the language of emoji's'.

This one message, made her eyes widen behind her reading glasses.

Reading it again, it was concerning and upsetting, all it said was to come to the door at 10 tonight and was there Mom in?

It was disturbing, a pervert was trying to lure her babies at 10 o'clock tonight.

Scrolling the text again in rage. Her girls were only eleven years old, had he targeted them online.

Reading Cassidy's last text to him. "Glad that you listen to us. Mom's been too busy to."

The twins knew better, Miranda still watched them in the shadows, opening the back door for them, Miranda held her breath and her phone with 911 ready on speed dial.

It was snowing heavily tonight, she could just make out the shape of them in a hoodie, hearing Caroline tell them.

"Don't worry. Mom's upstairs asleep." Caroline assured him as Miranda's breath caught at the larger frame, stroking her red hair in greeting.

This person touching her oldest made Miranda seethe inside.

"We have cake." Cassidy proclaimed out happily. "I made it!"

"What do you have to show us?" Caroline eagerly asked them.

The voice was low with the hood up as both Cassidy and Caroline came really close to them.

Visions of this sicko exposing themselves fully to her innocent daughters flashed in her mind.

Miranda launched forward, flipping on the kitchen lights bright, ready to hit him hard and dial the authorities.

Ranting. "You disgusting sick bastard…Andrea!"

The brunette was illuminated and holding her jacket zipper up to her chin.

Looking at her, like a deer caught in headlights at her, dripping in the kitchen doorway, shivering not from only the cold outside but by her eyes.

Holding herself strangely.

"Andrea what are you doing here?" Staring, tight-lipped at the caught brunette.

She hadn't seen her last assistant since Paris, which was two weeks ago, no truthfully she did see her once after Paris but refused to acknowledge her leather jacket clad presence on that day across the street from her.

"Miranda!'' stepping back. Away from her last boss. '' I'll just go."

Cassidy and Caroline came to Andy's aid, hugging her sides. "No. Mom don't be mad at Andy."

"She just wanted to make you happy again. Just _try to be_ nice to her please." Cassidy suggested, giving her Mom a look in reprimand with a brow arched like hers.

"Make me happy again?" Miranda repeated this out with disbelief. Told by her Cassi, to try be nice to Andrea who came sneaking to her back door at 11 at night like some prowler, and made her think her daughters were about to be hurt by a molester.

Andy still held her jacket bunched up. "Kiddos, this was a bad idea, I'm just going to not give this now ..."

"Give what?" Miranda demanded out.

"Your gift. Mommy." Caroline giggled.

Andrea got her a gift. She didn't even work for her anymore. Why?

Andy had no choice but to give it now.

"Here Miranda your wish." Andy said this, her eyes holding Miranda's with a soft unsure glow.

"My wish?" Miranda murmured out confused.

She reached under her jacket and pulled out a bundle she'd made from her own muffler. It mewed as Andy handed it over.

"A kitten!"

Miranda drew the muffler back and discovered two doleful eyes looking at her, she clucked at the fuzzy little face, her hesitant fingers stroked the ball of fur nuzzled against Andy's body.

"I hope it's your color. You know, the right size and everything." Andy silently cursed at the lame attempt at humor.

Miranda melted.

"It's a girl." Andy informed.

Feeling it, live, soft and warm, against Andrea. Her fingers grazed Andy's stomach also, touching it gently.

Only able to say. "She's perfect."

How did Andrea know she use to ask for one every birthday when she was a little girl.

"You told me you never got one." Andy answered her unspoken question, reading her like she always somehow did.

Recalling vaguely she did, sort of mention it. Not to her though.

It was to Nigel.

Just before Paris, Nigel had been complaining about birthday gifts of the Home Depot gift cards he always gets from his father who is a roofer in Rhode Island and how his dad just has bad gifting DNA, one year he'd made his Mom go through a scavenger hunt expecting a vacation to Hawaii, not a new lawn mower.

Miranda had softly revealed to Nigel, she wanted a kitten when she was a little girl, but her parents were very practical.

She avoided saying how they were very poor.

Emily wanted to be sung to by Westlife.

Andrea had mumbled hers only to herself.

Miranda's heartbeat had shifted into high gear, she hadn't taken her eyes off Andrea since she arrived. Andy hadn't stopped looking at her, either.

"Happy Birthday." Andy wished this and she left only a few inches between them. She found the top of the kitten's head with her thumb still looking right into her blue eyes. Rubbing the soft fur, she made the kitten purr.

Miranda's mouth parted with Andrea only inches from her nose.

"Cake?" Shoved under her nose was a slice of birthday cake by Cassidy. Andy took it gingerly from her.

Setting down the kitten that was so small and soft, it brushed Miranda's ankle who scooped it up in her lap and as it squirmed around she lifted its tiny face to hers, smiling at it and cuddled the kitten to her breast.

Andy paused, _lucky kitty._

She slid her coat off her shoulders and draped this over the back of a kitchen chair.

Andy was watched by three pairs of blue eyes as she scraped the frosting with the fork to her mouth.

"This is _good."_ Through a mouthful of it.

Cassidy and Caroline took gentle turns petting the bundle of fur and suggesting names out that Andy made faces at and then raised her brows up at others from the twins learning Latin.

Glancing at her watch, after midnight, Andy got her coat, "I, uh …it's late. Kiddos, tell me what name it ends up with, my vote is Lettice or Gina."

Andy's eyes seeked Miranda's across from her. "Night, Miranda."

"Wait. Andy, Mommy has to kiss you with her thanks."

Andy's face just showed it.

Blue eyes lowered at her gaze, "Car, I don't think Andrea wants me to kiss her." By Andy's face it would not be welcomed.

Cassidy's face scrunched. "You always kiss us in thank you."

Miranda face flushed pink. "Bobbsey, Andrea's not family."

Hitching her shoulder at Andrea's gaze on her.

Andy's eyes only challenged her. "Right here." She laid a forefinger against her lips. "A kiss of thanks would sit well received right here. Miranda?"

Miranda blinked, at Andrea twice.

"It is only polite to kiss me with your thanks." Andy teased, her eyes holding Miranda's.

Miranda gave a quick matronly peck to her cheekbone.

Andy had felt Miranda's lips skim her cheek, her breath warming her skin. Lifting her lips away, and off her, disappointed it was so quick.

"Mom! Do it again, _longer_ this time," Cassidy advocated with a grin.

"Did you even like my gift?" Andy asked her, her dark chocolate eyes sparkled, teasing her.

Andrea was so infuriating, Miranda slid her arms around her neck and pulled her face within her reach, then gave her, Andrea Sachs the kind of lip-melting kiss, Miranda never have guessed to be part of her repertoire of an expected kiss to her last assistant.

"I think you do like it." Andy said when she caught her breath.

"I …"

Miranda had pulled her lips away. Just staring at Andrea so quietly, still tasting Andrea. Her delightful taste. The unexpected softness of her lips feeling made her just stare at her ex assistant.

"You should go." Licking her lips, turning her face aside from those brown eyes.

Blinking from Miranda's enthusiastic mouth on hers. "Yeah, guess I should." Andy responded out, her brows knotted at Miranda not looking at her now, as she flicked her eyes away from hers and told the girls firmly, "Off to bed."

Slipping her coat on, Andy ruffled Cassidy's hair and kissed it and then doing the same affection to Caroline, the twins yawned hugely and left them going upstairs.

Getting up to rinse, and put the cake away, Miranda's back was to Andy, as she gauged her leaving with a lowly uttered. "Bye Miranda."

"Wait, here."

Holding out a wrapped slab of cake, Andy shook her head at it.

"Andrea I do know how you like chocolate."

Andy made no motion to take it from her. "I don't have the slightest desire for cake."

"Oh, I thought you might want another slice for later. You liked the frosting didn't you? It's a raspberry Godiva ganache. Cassidy made it."

"Miranda, you know what I want isn't cake." The look in those dark brown eyes said it.

"Andrea?"

Pressing her lips together, hemmed against the counter, feeling the pressure of Andrea's thighs. Taking her trembling fingers in hers, Andy took them to her lips and kissed the palm into hers letting it fall and covered her hands with hers, holding it.

"What are you doing to me, Miranda Priestly?" Andy asked her.

Andy's fingertips trailed slowly, along the center line of her body until her fingers touched her chin.

Miranda shook her head in stunned awareness of Andrea's fingers on her, parting her lips in a husky whisper.

"Andrea. I …."

Dark brows arched together seriously.

"I can't even kiss you again," she said softly. "I can't kiss you now and walk away. I have to walk away."

"Why?" Miranda asked, her eyes lowered to the counter.

Andy bit her lips, couldn't Miranda see she was holding herself to a code, it was because she was so beautiful and complicated and in so many ways Andy knew impossible, and Page Six would write trash about them and mostly her heart would tether itself to hers, and Andy knew she would never be able to get it back, she couldn't be just a rebound to her.

Or just some experimental fling Miranda tried still married.

It was just so soon after Paris, she was still _his_ wife.

They were just once assistant and boss, only two weeks ago.

"I have to." Andy entreated. "I have to go."

The wall of Miranda came up. "Go then, walk away like Paris." With a deft flick of her wrist, her eyes watched it occur again, Andy was gone.

Tears burned in her eyes as something soft and preciously small brushed against her ankle, scooping her gift up.

"Will you stay, can't you? Or do you have to walk away from me too?"

Holding the velvety body close to her ivory wet cheekbone, hoping to be soothed. Tears slid. She never cried. Shedding tears over _this almost_ with Andrea.

The kitted mewed. "Oh I'm sorry." She spoke to the tiny kitten face. "You don't like to be wet, do you?"

Swiping at more tears with side of her hand. "She thinks she can just give me you and kiss me back earlier and tell me she has to walk away. I've got news for "

A sudden knock brought her head up. Miranda stared at the unlit back door.

"—her." She came back. She didn't leave. Miranda slid the door open, crossing her arms in her robe.

Feeling the cold air rush into her kitchen because of her.

She looked cold and sheepish standing out on the doorstep with her collar turned up. She decided to let her stand there until she said something.

"I, uh … I can't make it through the snow."

Letting her in but turning quickly away, hugging her kitten, Miranda walked quickly toward the counter, taking a deep breath in, she tried her voice.

Hoping it was back to being and sounding unfeeling like before, like she always was towards Andrea.

"Andrea you can stay in the guest room but be gone by morning."

Andy dusted out her hair from the snow, slipping off her boots near the door. On socked feet, Andy strided over.

"Miranda about what I said …"

"I don't want to talk about it." Her voice shook.

Andy moved over to her and saw it. She was holding the counter, and her face was pink and fresh with tears.

"Please don't cry, honey?"

"I'm not crying," Miranda insisted. "Don't call me honey!"

Andy came close, she folded her arms around her, clung to, kissing the top of her white head. "Miranda. Tell me why you're not crying, then?"

"You. Walking away again and coming back now."

The corners of Andy's mouth lifted. "I can take another shot at it. It's just a foot or two of snow."

Miranda's eyes flashed. "No."

Still held to Andy, trying to remain rigid and unaffected by her touch. "Why did you leave? Am I that horrible to stay with? Stephen thought so. You do as well. " Held by Andrea, her nape was stroked as Andy's palms slid, rubbing her back.

"I was trying to do the right thing, Miranda." She looked into Miranda's eyes and wiped the tears from her pink cheeks with her fingers.

The right thing. Miranda stilled at that and looked up into Andy's eyes.

"You're still married." Andy said this reasonably, her brows drew together, at that, making Miranda have an urge to draw her finger across it.

"There's Page Six, I read how Stephen's been, then there's me, once working for you, I don't want to be only a rebound to you or something you try out and get tired of, okay I can't be."

Andrea actually thought she'd use her as some plaything, almost getting out of Andy's arms but her next words made her freeze.

"I don't have anything to offer you, not to a woman like you. Miranda. That's why."

"Andrea, Stephen and I will be divorced next week Friday. As for Page Six, I don't care what they write about me-us, I was hoping that you think more of me than just you being sex to me, because I want you to be more than that. Do you want that to?"

Fingers grazed along Andrea's face, chewing her lip waiting for an answer to her words.

"You want us?" Andy asked her looking startled by Miranda saying this.

"Yes."

Andy closed her eyes and touched her forehead to hers, her lips began brushing the side of her face, tracing the curve of her ear with the tip of her tongue sending a shiver shimmy through her.

"Miranda this is my thanks for that kiss you gave."

Andy took her shoulders in her hands, her kiss claimed her breath, her brain, and all her senses.

Pulling back from their lip lock. "For that reference you did for me." Andy's second kiss made her legs mush.

"And for wanting me to be more than just once hot sex to you." Placing a slower delicate kiss to her lips.

Pulling back. "Although every now and then I don't mind being that." Kissing her deeply as Miranda kissed back with the same vigor.

Breaking their lip lock, Andy shared out. "And to whatever the hell NY Department it is of not clearing snow."

Laughter bubbled behind the tears as Andy wiped at them with the kitten cradled between them.

They made it to the guest room.

Preparing for sex with her, serial killers were less anal than Stephen.

Stephen would always shower, then floss, using her toothbrush getting ready and then think ten minutes was what her body needed.

With no foreplay partaken in.

Watching Andy slip off over her head her sweater and shuck her jeans, pulling down her underwear, skin on skin, settling herself between Miranda's legs, as she joined to her, her nose were cold against her skin.

Wrapping the bed covers around them.

Her thumb flicked across an covered arched nipple, tracing a circle around her unfree bud with the tip of her fingernail, making her white haired lady suck a quick breath through teeth.

"Does that tickle?" Andy asked, her face a picture of mock innocence.

Miranda ran a finger to feather along Andy's ass cleft, until she groaned. "Does that?" Her blue eyes mirroring Andy's innocence.

"Mmm, not exactly." Andy lied, her mouth kissed hard by her with blue eyes crinkling.

Mapping a sweet ache in Miranda as Andy caressed her. "I think you want me to touch you there."

"Where?" Miranda teased out.

"There. Or no is it here."

Guiding Andy's palm.

"Oh yes." Miranda moaned out as Andy freed and licked her nipple gently and sucked air between her teeth, smiling at making Miranda hers, Andy pushed her nightgown over her shoulders and down.

"I was so jealous of that kitty."

"Were you?" Miranda responded as Andy's mouth was full.

The bed was warm from their loving, wrapped together in pastel sheets, they touched, nibbled and nuzzled, her pale fingertips skating and mapping Andrea all over.

Hearing it start mewing.

Spooning to Miranda, wrapped in her arms, Andy made to ignore it. Miranda heard it get louder as loud as the tiny fur ball could manage, imploring out. "Andrea. Please it's alone."

Andy sighed out in the dark. "I had no idea you were such a softie."

Getting up for it, slipping cold toes onto the carpet, Andy was barefoot with a soft curse let out of how it was freezing and her tits might be frostbitten.

Miranda smiled against the pillow as she watched naked Andrea stride as she went to get _her-their_ kitten.

Miranda had agreed to the box in the kitchen they found between lips meeting lips.

Holding it against herself. Cradling it in her arm and slipping her knee back onto bed. "Now where were we?"

Opening her blanket to Andy who sunk into her.

"Here she is." squeezing her woman in bed as Miranda felt the furry present settle somewhere near her toes. "Happy Birthday Miranda." Andy kissed her brow. Smiling against Andy's cheek.

"Now about warming up those frostbitten nipples, Andy."

Both keeping each other warm and loved up with skin on skin.

Miranda awoke naked, to no Andrea beside her.

What had last night been? With thoughts of she slept with Andrea looping in her head and pulling over her head, her nightgown, Miranda wrapped a robe around herself, hoping to find her lover in the kitchen.

She didn't.

Hurt by this.

The kitten she hadn't named yet, meowed at her.

About to get it some milk. Opening the fridge as someone through the frosted window of her back door, began knocking on it.

Kissed hello, balancing a tray of coffees and a brown bag, and a box of what smelled like bagels.

Dusting Miranda with snow.

"Here. Sorry Vinay's failed us. Miranda."

"Who's Vinay?" Miranda asked _._

"You're bodega down two blocks. Coffee at Vinay's only has four choices, black, milk, sugar, or go somewhere the hell else —so, I did to Starbucks another two blocks and here cat food, and litter."

Miranda didn't have the heart to tell Andy she had plenty of coffee stocked in her cabinet.

"Chopped turkey liver and other choices that look like goo."

Seeing how Andrea's lower half was dusted with snow, Miranda pulled her to her and kissed her wholly.

"What was that for?" Andy murmured. "Did you, think I left or something?" Andy set down the tray of coffees without spilling it.

Miranda shook her head, lying quick, her eyes gave her away.

Andy could tell immediately. "You did think that." Pressing her lips to Miranda's more forceful, nibbling her lower lip.

"Did you wake up and think I was one of those Andy's that love you and leave?" Andy huffed, as Miranda hitched her robe shoulder and unpacked things for the kitten not meeting her brown eyes.

"I had a hungry kitty to come back to." Andy grinned. "Also my snowed in birthday girl, I'm not leaving again. I don't know how not to."

The rest of her words were swallowed by Miranda's mouth on hers.


End file.
